you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
