Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
