Whoa Z and x make the same sound
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
