SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Verdict: uncircumcised.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
