I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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