I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
