I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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