Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The uberlube is also flammable
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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