It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
did i just pee glitter
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
