drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
jump out the window naked night went bad
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
