I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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