I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
