thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
