I forgot how hot balto sounded
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
