Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
