The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
