What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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