actually, I'm a sock model
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
