So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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