He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
they're like a gay fantastic four
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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