You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
