Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
