Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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