I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
