I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
