I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Can I color on your dick again?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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