fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
