Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
