My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
