Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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