I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
