think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't deserve a penis
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize