She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
