I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
