let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
