next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
