If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize