I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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