but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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