It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
