i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
