smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
