if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
