he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
