Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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