her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
