just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
