I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
