tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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