Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize