There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
