I'm going to jail i love you
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
