We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
