Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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