And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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