You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
