No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
