The maid of honor just puked.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
